NEW HORIZONS IN CUSTOMER SERVICE
Why it seems that I update my blog only in times of personal injury is probably a coincidence, but here we go again with another episode of the slap-stick comedy that is my life at the moment.
Thanks to the kind people who work at Asus (and their rather nifty looking Eee PC 1000H) I am able to type this entry from the confines of my pain-filled bed, rather than the chilly solitude of the study at the other end of the house. Thinking about it I feel that perhaps there would be little difference, other than missing out on the pleasant(?) company of Jennie at the moment who is next to me, comforting me in my time of need with much heart-warming laughter and merriment. Well, it would be heart-warming if it wasn't at my expense. Deep down I'm sure that she means well - Even if "means well" in this case probably translates as "deeply amused". Jennie has been a rock of support and sympathy to me, even if appearances can be misleading.
The latest incident happened at work yesterday at VU's St Albans campus when a student had finished paying a late amendment fee using her debit card. Seconds after leaving the student service centre I noticed that my most recent client had left her debit card behind. Like a rocket, a bullet even, I was up, out from behind the counter, across the foyer and out the door of building 4 and moving at speed. Look out! Here comes Customer Service Guy (or Clumsy, Suicidal Git - you decide). Across the courtyard I ran, determined to return the card to its rightful owner. I caught sight of her some distance away and, keeping an eye on my target, put on a burst of speed. In hindsight I should have kept two eyes on where I was going.
It was on the second last turn (left) that I came a cropper... I misjudged it, ran into a flowerbed and tripped on the sad remains of a once mighty shrub pruned down to a stump of sullen, vengeful fury filled with nothing but a burning rage against the species that cut it down in its prime. "Tripped" is such an inadequate word to describe the landing I made, and "splashed" doesn't quite work when you're talking about landing in tanbark. In any event I was a victim of momentum, gravity and hostile vegetation.
While we're at it, the phrase "The bigger they are the harder they fall" is misleading. Believe me, the bigger they are the more time they have to think about things on the way down... The list of things that went through my mind during this incident went something like this, "There she is! Shit! What the hell was that? I'm falling? Crap, I'm falling! Where am I going to land? Not good, not good. Can I turn? No. Shit. Arghshitfuckdamnthathurts!"
After impact I went about the sorry business of finding my glasses and removing about half a tree worth of tanbark from my clothing. I trudged my way back to the office, a picture of misery with that bloody debit card still in my hand. After cleaning the abrasions I did what I should have done in the first place, I punched her student number into my terminal to find her mobile phone number and left a message to let her know that her card was still in the student service centre.
This morning shortly before lunch I handed the card, still awaiting collection, in at the security office...
Why it seems that I update my blog only in times of personal injury is probably a coincidence, but here we go again with another episode of the slap-stick comedy that is my life at the moment.
Thanks to the kind people who work at Asus (and their rather nifty looking Eee PC 1000H) I am able to type this entry from the confines of my pain-filled bed, rather than the chilly solitude of the study at the other end of the house. Thinking about it I feel that perhaps there would be little difference, other than missing out on the pleasant(?) company of Jennie at the moment who is next to me, comforting me in my time of need with much heart-warming laughter and merriment. Well, it would be heart-warming if it wasn't at my expense. Deep down I'm sure that she means well - Even if "means well" in this case probably translates as "deeply amused". Jennie has been a rock of support and sympathy to me, even if appearances can be misleading.
The latest incident happened at work yesterday at VU's St Albans campus when a student had finished paying a late amendment fee using her debit card. Seconds after leaving the student service centre I noticed that my most recent client had left her debit card behind. Like a rocket, a bullet even, I was up, out from behind the counter, across the foyer and out the door of building 4 and moving at speed. Look out! Here comes Customer Service Guy (or Clumsy, Suicidal Git - you decide). Across the courtyard I ran, determined to return the card to its rightful owner. I caught sight of her some distance away and, keeping an eye on my target, put on a burst of speed. In hindsight I should have kept two eyes on where I was going.
It was on the second last turn (left) that I came a cropper... I misjudged it, ran into a flowerbed and tripped on the sad remains of a once mighty shrub pruned down to a stump of sullen, vengeful fury filled with nothing but a burning rage against the species that cut it down in its prime. "Tripped" is such an inadequate word to describe the landing I made, and "splashed" doesn't quite work when you're talking about landing in tanbark. In any event I was a victim of momentum, gravity and hostile vegetation.
While we're at it, the phrase "The bigger they are the harder they fall" is misleading. Believe me, the bigger they are the more time they have to think about things on the way down... The list of things that went through my mind during this incident went something like this, "There she is! Shit! What the hell was that? I'm falling? Crap, I'm falling! Where am I going to land? Not good, not good. Can I turn? No. Shit. Arghshitfuckdamnthathurts!"
After impact I went about the sorry business of finding my glasses and removing about half a tree worth of tanbark from my clothing. I trudged my way back to the office, a picture of misery with that bloody debit card still in my hand. After cleaning the abrasions I did what I should have done in the first place, I punched her student number into my terminal to find her mobile phone number and left a message to let her know that her card was still in the student service centre.
This morning shortly before lunch I handed the card, still awaiting collection, in at the security office...
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