SLACKER
I'm getting really slack at this. I swear I procrastinate so much that even the most indolent of moss-covered tree sloths would look at me with disdain. I have no excuse, other than to say I'm not that lazy I'm just easily distracted by ... Ohhh look! Shiny!
A QUICK CATCH-UP
Since my last posting here the cats have entered into an uneasy truce ... One that often flares up into "border skirmishes". That wouldn't be so bad but for the fact that all three cats like sleeping on our bed, while Jennie and I are in it. While I am unlikely to be woken by any feline fracas that may ensue at 3:00 in the morning, I'm not looking forward to waking up in the morning with a face that looks like I'd tried shaving it using a blender set to "disfigure".
The prime threat to household peace is Trudy, who appears to believe that being the smallest and youngest cat in the house is like a licence to annoy, pester and bully the other feline inhabitants. One of these days Pixel and/or Koda is going to corner that little monster and pound the ever-lovin' crap out of her... I say we sit back, let it happen and keep the winner - A suburban version of "Survivor" if you like, with a one-way trip to the vet for those "voted out" of the house.
Koda is a worry. All my life I've had cats who have been more than happy to remain at or near ground level. Koda is something else... I now live in fear that one of these days I'm going to try and close an already open door, and that cat is going to drop on my head. Koda is a Burmese, a breed of cat that has be tailored through decades and centuries of selective breeding to bedevil and torment me and my sense of well being. If it's high and out of reach of anyone without the aid of a chair to stand on, Koda will be there. If it's cramped and inaccessable, Koda will be there. If it's hideously inconvenient to remove a blithering idiot from, especially if you have a load of jars and other foodstuffs in your arms that you have to put in the cupboard that you have to extract a cat from first, Koda will be there.
If it's stupid, insane and massively dangerous to the house as a whole to sleep there, Koda will be there. I didn't know that the cabinet that our oven is built into has a gap right above where the skirting board meets the floor, leaving a comfortable little hidey-hole for any cat with a deep-down desire to be at the centre of uncontrolled combustion - It took Koda, at most, 3 tenths of a second to find that hole and climb in.
FINAL SCORE: LOCAL NEWSAGENT 1, AUSTRALIA POST 0
This week the seemingly impossible happened. Australia Post, after much deliberation and argument, started delivering mail to our estate. Yay for me! I can only assume that they hired the services of someone eminently qualified to tell them exactly where their arse was in order for them to remove their finger from it and start doing their job. They didn't have to pay anyone for this, I would have been, and still am, more than happy to tell them where to go for free...
I find it so very amusing to note that while Australia Post's first mail delivery to our house was on Monday, they were beaten to first grazing rights on our letterbox by the local newsagent who started weekend deliveries of newspapers to our home 2 weeks before-hand. I wonder how much better things would be if we were to shift mail delivery responsibilities to our local newsagents and just shoot all the posties (before they shoot us).
I'm getting really slack at this. I swear I procrastinate so much that even the most indolent of moss-covered tree sloths would look at me with disdain. I have no excuse, other than to say I'm not that lazy I'm just easily distracted by ... Ohhh look! Shiny!
A QUICK CATCH-UP
Since my last posting here the cats have entered into an uneasy truce ... One that often flares up into "border skirmishes". That wouldn't be so bad but for the fact that all three cats like sleeping on our bed, while Jennie and I are in it. While I am unlikely to be woken by any feline fracas that may ensue at 3:00 in the morning, I'm not looking forward to waking up in the morning with a face that looks like I'd tried shaving it using a blender set to "disfigure".
The prime threat to household peace is Trudy, who appears to believe that being the smallest and youngest cat in the house is like a licence to annoy, pester and bully the other feline inhabitants. One of these days Pixel and/or Koda is going to corner that little monster and pound the ever-lovin' crap out of her... I say we sit back, let it happen and keep the winner - A suburban version of "Survivor" if you like, with a one-way trip to the vet for those "voted out" of the house.
Koda is a worry. All my life I've had cats who have been more than happy to remain at or near ground level. Koda is something else... I now live in fear that one of these days I'm going to try and close an already open door, and that cat is going to drop on my head. Koda is a Burmese, a breed of cat that has be tailored through decades and centuries of selective breeding to bedevil and torment me and my sense of well being. If it's high and out of reach of anyone without the aid of a chair to stand on, Koda will be there. If it's cramped and inaccessable, Koda will be there. If it's hideously inconvenient to remove a blithering idiot from, especially if you have a load of jars and other foodstuffs in your arms that you have to put in the cupboard that you have to extract a cat from first, Koda will be there.
If it's stupid, insane and massively dangerous to the house as a whole to sleep there, Koda will be there. I didn't know that the cabinet that our oven is built into has a gap right above where the skirting board meets the floor, leaving a comfortable little hidey-hole for any cat with a deep-down desire to be at the centre of uncontrolled combustion - It took Koda, at most, 3 tenths of a second to find that hole and climb in.
FINAL SCORE: LOCAL NEWSAGENT 1, AUSTRALIA POST 0
This week the seemingly impossible happened. Australia Post, after much deliberation and argument, started delivering mail to our estate. Yay for me! I can only assume that they hired the services of someone eminently qualified to tell them exactly where their arse was in order for them to remove their finger from it and start doing their job. They didn't have to pay anyone for this, I would have been, and still am, more than happy to tell them where to go for free...
I find it so very amusing to note that while Australia Post's first mail delivery to our house was on Monday, they were beaten to first grazing rights on our letterbox by the local newsagent who started weekend deliveries of newspapers to our home 2 weeks before-hand. I wonder how much better things would be if we were to shift mail delivery responsibilities to our local newsagents and just shoot all the posties (before they shoot us).
2 comments:
burmese cats like
1) being up high
2) being exactly where you are about to put your foot
3)hopping in the bath - even when its wet
4) talking
5)to kill soft toys (real animals are outside their skillset)
6)playing russian roulette with cars
7)posing - because they know they're beautiful
8)hogging the bed
9)playing favourites with the humans (they always have a special human)
10)helping (or not, depending on your point of view).
Basically, a burmese is like a 2 year old child who NEVER grows up.. have fun :D
That's it, Koda is leaving in the morning ... via catapult if necessary! There's room in this house for only ONE 2 year old who'll never grow up, and that's ME!
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