Assuming that I've completed my biographical notes for this blog, and also assuming that you have read them, you'll know that I am in my late 30's, married with 3 (boisterous but lovely) children and that I work in the banking and finance industry. If I didn't update my biographical details (the most likely scenario), or you didn't (or couldn't) read them (possible, but my money is on my own laziness), then you know that now, so it all works out okay in the end anyway. Those of you who actually know me in real life can skip this blog entry, I promise you won't miss anything.
Born as half of a set of twins in Melbourne, Australia in the middle of 1970, I grew up to be the talented and oversized underachiever that everyone around me now has to put up with every day. I'm happily (and surpisingly) married to Jennie, my long-suffering companion since our mutual bout of insanity in 1997. My only excuse is that the wedding was in Canada and I was suffering from this 3 week bout of jet-lag ... Nahh, that's not going to fly. Jennie at least has the "I was drinking beforehand" defence, I was terrifyingly sober for the event. At least the ceremony was painless enough. What came after that... is another story. To give some measure of the family that I married into, it was decided after the ceremony to turn the dance floor at the reception into a mosh-pit, and then put me in the middle of it for some "Welcome to the family!" inspired rib damage. There weren't any breaks, but my newly minted in-laws sure did try (and try, and try again).
Jennie and I share our lives with 3 amazing children who have the good fortune to have Jennie as their mother. Graeme, Nathan and Oscar are like children everywhere, they have this inbuilt gift for provoking emotional whiplash in their parents at the drop of a hat - One minute you're contemplating terrible and bloody violence on all of them in exchange for the merest promise of a few moments of peace and quiet, the next minute you're wrapped around their little finger thanks to the unspoken menace of The Unprovoked Hug, (To those who do not yet have children, beware The Unprovoked Hug for it will own you, and your children will be born with that knowledge. You have been warned.) Graeme (8) looks more like Jennie than me, Nathan (6) looks more like his Uncle Ted (my brother) than me, and Oscar (1.75) looks like a mix of his older brothers. Where that leaves me, I'll never quite know...
My hobbies range from the solitary (No, not THAT! ... Well, not every day ... Sometimes it's hard to pick up a book and remember where you left off. Whatever were YOU thinking? On second thoughts I really don't want to know, let's just let it lie, shall we?) to the nerdy with equally nerdy friends, to the solitary AND nerdy online with friends that I never see in person. I'd be a strange, brooding loner locked up in some dingy little flat with nothing but an equally strange, half-feral cat for company, but I really like messing with people's minds too much for that sort of thing, so I am compelled to be strange, brooding and somewhat social. I relish my current role in customer service as each day is always alive with the promise of new victims... Errr, opportunities to serve our valued customers, as well doing my part to maintain the level of workplace sarcasm and abuse... Ummmm, cheerful and productive morale that our team is justly known for.
I spent most of my formative years in a suburb of Melbourne called Abbotsford, a charmingly picturesque place with only the occasional, badly misplaced and rather self-conscious looking tree to spoil the rugged beauty of inner city life. Oh, there was also this incredible stretch of grass that went on for as far as the eye could see, but we weren't allowed to play on Hoddle Street, not least of which right down the middle of it on the median strip. Primary school was especially fun for me; I still remember the giddy delight I felt when the two houses next to our school were demolished to make way for an expansion of the school grounds. At last we children could play on something else apart that expanse of bare asphalt, and so we got to play on an equally bare expanse of gravel as well. Even now, more than 25 years later, I still bare some of the scars of those happy, happy days.
My musical tastes are varied, indiscrimate even, but invariably involve me being the auditory slave for any passing female vocalist. While it helps if you're a Candian female vocalist, it's hardly necessary. Jennie is Candian and loves to sing in the shower, which explains in part why I fell in love with her in the text only medium of IRC back in the mid 90's (If this is my last blog post then this part will double-up as a suicide note, although being clubbed to death by my wife could also be described as 'Death by Natural Causes', not that I'm suggesting anything by that...)
NON-STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Jennie's voice isn't that bad, honest! But if she thinks that I'm going to let this blog slide by without at least one cheap shot, she's even more deluded than I would have dreamed possible.
Born as half of a set of twins in Melbourne, Australia in the middle of 1970, I grew up to be the talented and oversized underachiever that everyone around me now has to put up with every day. I'm happily (and surpisingly) married to Jennie, my long-suffering companion since our mutual bout of insanity in 1997. My only excuse is that the wedding was in Canada and I was suffering from this 3 week bout of jet-lag ... Nahh, that's not going to fly. Jennie at least has the "I was drinking beforehand" defence, I was terrifyingly sober for the event. At least the ceremony was painless enough. What came after that... is another story. To give some measure of the family that I married into, it was decided after the ceremony to turn the dance floor at the reception into a mosh-pit, and then put me in the middle of it for some "Welcome to the family!" inspired rib damage. There weren't any breaks, but my newly minted in-laws sure did try (and try, and try again).
Jennie and I share our lives with 3 amazing children who have the good fortune to have Jennie as their mother. Graeme, Nathan and Oscar are like children everywhere, they have this inbuilt gift for provoking emotional whiplash in their parents at the drop of a hat - One minute you're contemplating terrible and bloody violence on all of them in exchange for the merest promise of a few moments of peace and quiet, the next minute you're wrapped around their little finger thanks to the unspoken menace of The Unprovoked Hug, (To those who do not yet have children, beware The Unprovoked Hug for it will own you, and your children will be born with that knowledge. You have been warned.) Graeme (8) looks more like Jennie than me, Nathan (6) looks more like his Uncle Ted (my brother) than me, and Oscar (1.75) looks like a mix of his older brothers. Where that leaves me, I'll never quite know...
My hobbies range from the solitary (No, not THAT! ... Well, not every day ... Sometimes it's hard to pick up a book and remember where you left off. Whatever were YOU thinking? On second thoughts I really don't want to know, let's just let it lie, shall we?) to the nerdy with equally nerdy friends, to the solitary AND nerdy online with friends that I never see in person. I'd be a strange, brooding loner locked up in some dingy little flat with nothing but an equally strange, half-feral cat for company, but I really like messing with people's minds too much for that sort of thing, so I am compelled to be strange, brooding and somewhat social. I relish my current role in customer service as each day is always alive with the promise of new victims... Errr, opportunities to serve our valued customers, as well doing my part to maintain the level of workplace sarcasm and abuse... Ummmm, cheerful and productive morale that our team is justly known for.
I spent most of my formative years in a suburb of Melbourne called Abbotsford, a charmingly picturesque place with only the occasional, badly misplaced and rather self-conscious looking tree to spoil the rugged beauty of inner city life. Oh, there was also this incredible stretch of grass that went on for as far as the eye could see, but we weren't allowed to play on Hoddle Street, not least of which right down the middle of it on the median strip. Primary school was especially fun for me; I still remember the giddy delight I felt when the two houses next to our school were demolished to make way for an expansion of the school grounds. At last we children could play on something else apart that expanse of bare asphalt, and so we got to play on an equally bare expanse of gravel as well. Even now, more than 25 years later, I still bare some of the scars of those happy, happy days.
My musical tastes are varied, indiscrimate even, but invariably involve me being the auditory slave for any passing female vocalist. While it helps if you're a Candian female vocalist, it's hardly necessary. Jennie is Candian and loves to sing in the shower, which explains in part why I fell in love with her in the text only medium of IRC back in the mid 90's (If this is my last blog post then this part will double-up as a suicide note, although being clubbed to death by my wife could also be described as 'Death by Natural Causes', not that I'm suggesting anything by that...)
NON-STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Jennie's voice isn't that bad, honest! But if she thinks that I'm going to let this blog slide by without at least one cheap shot, she's even more deluded than I would have dreamed possible.
2 comments:
So is the next entry a description of your friends???
Friends? I have those?
In all honesty I have no idea as to what my next post is going to be about. If I knew that I'd be guilty of planning and forethought...
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